for my best friend

as I try to sleep
you creep into my room
like wind through a cracked window
or the night on the longest day of the year

I try to shut my eyes
but every time I get close
you’re there
begging me to take a taste

I try to breath
but you hold the air
I try to scream
but the words I can’t muster

I struggle to keep still
I struggle to stay sane
as I try and try to push you away
you’ve already invaded my mind

you’re there for so long the numbers begin to rise again
1:00 o’clock
2:00 o’clock
3:00 o’clock

I try to fight back but your grip is too strong
insomnia is your teammate
my slumber is your enemy
I cannot win this fight

as I finally muster up the strength to cry
I feel the tears pouring out of my eyes
I can sleep now
for you have won

my anxiety
the battle I can never overcome

Sydney Pilut :

Sydney Pilut

Sydney Pilut is an undergraduate at the University of Michigan. This poem is dedicated to her sisters, Jordan and Victoria, who are always there to talk when she needs.