“All night I traveled”
Spring 2023 | Ashwini Bhasi Reads "All Night I Traveled” – MQR Sound
Artist Statement
“All night I traveled” explores the heterotopia of chronic pain and the dichotomy of freedom and agony a person experiences due to dissociating (or taking flight) from the pain body in a futile attempt to live solely in the mind.
The shapes, lines, words and images in this work were created through automatism. Emotions, bodily sensations and perseverations were allowed to flow unfiltered and unedited from the limbic system to fingertips. The process acted as a form of raw release of cellular memory. A way to override the limitations of the analytical brain and its inability to fully release unprocessed suffering trapped in the mind and body.
“What did I do today“
Spring 2023 | Ashwini Bhasi Reads "What did I do today” – MQR Sound
Artist Statement:
“What did I do today” explores the heterotopia of chronic pain and disability caused by Temporomandibular Joint Disorder (TMD) [1].
Chronic pain is complex, multi-dimensional, hyper-subjective and defiant of definitions. The suffering it causes requires a multi-modal approach for translation. ‘What did I do today” is an attempt to translate the lived experience of chronic facial and jaw pain through four inter-related frames:
(1) The drawing created in response to a TMD pain flare-up
(2) The words spontaneously written within the drawing in response to the pain flare-up
(3) The audio recording of these words
(4) Fragments of the molecular genetics landscape that represent intense suffering caused by chronic pain and disability.
As a bioinformatician, the scientific part of my brain is drawn to understanding the molecular biology of chronic pain, while the artistic part of my brain yearns to explore the daily reality of existence in a pain-filled body and mind.
The shapes, words, colors and patterns in this hybrid work were created through automatism. Emotions, bodily sensations and perseveration associated with a specific pain flare-up were allowed to flow unfiltered from the limbic system to fingertips. The process acts as a form of raw release—a way to override the limitations of the analytical brain and its inability to expel suffering trapped in the mind and body.
The sequence fragments embedded in drawing are from the SCN9A protein [2] which encodes the voltage-gated sodium channel Nav.1.7 in pain-sensing neurons [3, 4]. The malfunction of this sodium channel can lead to pathological pain [3, 5]. In TMD patients, Nav.1.7 channels in the trigeminal ganglion cause hyperalgesia (increased pain sensations) [6, 7]. There is ongoing research to develop chronic pain medication specifically targeting Nav.1.7 and other voltage-gated sodium channels [8, 9].
The accompanying audio recording is of the writing that was spontaneously scribbled into the nooks and crannies of the TMD drawing through automatism. I refrain from doing any editing of the content. The aim is to preserve the raw integrity of the suffering.
While listening to the audio, viewers are invited to zoom into the images, view the details and scroll around both vertically and horizontally to get the full experience of this hybrid work.
References:
- The neuro-pathophysiology of temporomandibular disorders-related pain: a systematic review of structural and functional MRI studies.
- UniProt Database: SCN9A
- Nav1.7 and Nav1.8: Role in the pathophysiology of pain.
- The physiological function of different voltage-gated sodium channels in pain.
- Extreme Ends of Pain Sensitivity in SCN9A Mutation Variants: Case Report and Literature Review.
- Involvement of trigeminal ganglionic Nav 1.7 in hyperalgesia of inflamed temporomandibular joint is dependent on ERK1/2 phosphorylation of glial cells in rats.
- Progesterone Attenuates Allodynia of Inflamed Temporomandibular Joint through Modulating Voltage-Gated Sodium Channel 1.7 in Trigeminal Ganglion.
- Targeting Sodium Channels for Pain Relief.
- Pain pathways and potential new targets for pain relief.
Image Descriptions for ‘All night I traveled’
Image 1: black and white image, all words with their shadows behind them. Between the two word closers, a graphic form – a hinge, a meeting. Text: All night I travelled…. ….and arrived torn in the morning.
Image 2: black and white image, with some gold highlights, complex intersecting lines, human-shaped forms in windows, a road Text: They called…. through the doors. The edges were always splintering. Spider legs. Bifurcating in spatial loss Where did it take me… The serpent’s journey is not a myth when you are living inside it… partially separating from its root.
Image 3: black and white image, an organic open form, sweeping Text: When you travel, you leave this body behind. The return is as involuntary as the exit. No reference point. If pain is a tether why fear it? But I do. A bookmark, an index. Do not visit me tonight. Please…
Image 4: black and white image, potentially letters: so when? Text: So when did I leave? When did I return? Did I leave? I did… or did I? I…. I was gone. A while longer than I knew I was gone. I was gone. For a year. A day. A millisecond.
Image 5: black and white image with hints of color. A loose spiraling form. Text: This is an opening I cannot close. And I do not want to.
Image descriptions for ‘What did I do today’
These image descriptions were sourced from participants in a University of Michigan graduate course, Disability Arts and Culture: Speculative Embodiment (Petra Kuppers). Writers: Anna Stabnick, Des Velázquez, Annelise Rowe, Gabbie Ragano.
The text on the image is fully read out by Ashwini Bhasi in the accompanying sound file.
Bright yellows, reds, and deep blues and greens travel down the page alongside geometric doodles making repeated swirls and clusters of black patterns alongside words written about the lived experience of chronic jaw pain.
A series of bright colors, shades of vibrant yellow, blue, red, and green. Thick strokes of black paint spread across the image. Near the center of the image and close to the top, two thick black lines form a wishbone shape. The upper line has a splash of green paint spread along.
A collage of gritty oil pastels, cut up words, bond phrases and tiny stream of consciousness depicts the internal battle and monologue associated with chronic pain
Bright, loud, bold, intense colors and strokes filling the entire page. The piece is busy and full of energy and movement, unapologetically taking up space.
For more SomaFlights, you can purchase the Spring 2023 print issue here.
