Traumatic events in early childhood can be catastrophic. They can irrevocably alter the neurobiology of survivors and negatively impact the entire trajectory of their lives. [1, 2, 3]. “Which Way” is a self-exploration attempt to answer the following questions. How do you release cellular memory of a traumatic experience trapped in your body? Can you find a way out of the vicious labyrinth of suffering created by trauma loops?
The shapes and words in this piece were created through automatism. Emotions, bodily sensations and perseveration that surfaced while revisiting a traumatic memory were allowed to flow unfiltered from the limbic system to fingertips. The process acts as a form of raw release of cellular memory. A way to override the limitations of the analytical brain and its inability to fully release unprocessed trauma trapped in the mind and body.
The DNA and protein sequence fragments embedded in this work are from the CRHR1 gene which plays a vital role in mediating stress response, anxiety and depression in humans [4]. Several research studies have found that individuals who possess certain sequence variations (Single Nucleotide Polymorphisms (SNPs)) in the CRHR1 gene tend to be protected from the adverse effects of early childhood trauma [5, 6].
- https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/past-trauma-may-haunt-your-future-health
- Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa
- Felitti, Vincent J. “The Relation Between Adverse Childhood Experiences and Adult Health: Turning Gold into Lead.” The Permanente journal vol. 6,1 (2002): 44-47.
- Reul, Johannes M H M, and Florian Holsboer. “On the role of corticotropin-releasing hormone receptors in anxiety and depression.” Dialogues in clinical neuroscience vol. 4,1 (2002): 31-46.
- Feder, Adriana et al. “Psychobiology and molecular genetics of resilience.” Nature reviews. Neuroscience vol. 10,6 (2009): 446-57.
- Bradley, Rebekah G et al. “Influence of child abuse on adult depression: moderation by the corticotropin-releasing hormone receptor gene.” Archives of general psychiatry vol. 65,2 (2008): 190-200.
Ashwini Bhasi is a bioinformatician from Kerala, India who is interested in exploring the somatics of shame, trauma and chronic pain through poetry and visual art. Her work can be found in Hayden’s Ferry Review, Frontier Poetry, The Offing, Hobart, RHINO, Indianapolis Review and elsewhere. She is the winner of the 2020 CutBank Chapbook Contest and the 2018 William J. Shaw Memorial Poetry Prize from Dunes Review.