When the module was first presented to us, I was shocked at how simple it was. Coming from a background where attention to detail and complexities is strongly recommended, I did not appreciate how the module took a complicated topic and made it simple. In fact, I wondered if we would be teaching children. It was only through working with the module and being a teacher and learner that I grew to appreciate its many dimensions.
I realized as I walked in to Horizons that I was looking for any and all clues to validate the dominant narratives and my preconceptions. When we started to present the module, a few of the members put their heads on the table, and one of them had their headphones in, still playing music. I remember thinking how “these people” had difficult lives and were, therefore, not taught how to show respect during a presentation. Moreover, I started doubting them and the module itself. Was it so boring that they wanted to go to sleep? Did they even care about spreading and teaching this module to prevent others from suffering the hardships of their own lives? This was the first time that I exemplified the flaws of “a convert.” I desperately wanted to help the Horizons members, but, as Freire stated, those that join the oppressed in their struggle for liberation “bring with them the marks of their origin: their prejudices and their deformations, which include a lack of confidence in the people’s ability to think, to want, and to know” (Freire 42). Personally, I know that I was guilty of this when I think back to the initial sentiments that I had on our first attempt at presenting the module to the Horizons group. Freire warns that because of these thoughts and sentiments, such converts run the risk of false generosity, which is similar to the actions of the oppressors themselves.
I think the greatest lesson that I learned from this experience was what it means to truly empower a minority group suffering oppression. Previously, I have tried several times to help minority communities. For example, in Sri Lanka, I strongly desired to help a poor all-female primary school. My family and I saved up money in order to buy the school new books, writing utensils, and other resources. Now I realize that this was not a long-term sustainable solution. Although I felt really good about myself after I had donated the resources, I can now see how my actions probably stemmed at least in part out of false generosity. I think from a young age I have always wanted to help the world in whatever way I could. Nevertheless, this is the first time I acknowledge that the “savior effect” was possibly at play. One cannot simply throw money at problems in order to solve them.
