Communicate genuine concern and respect for the child. Below is a list of attitudes and behaviors that communicate respect and genuineness:


  • Being concerned for the person without judging them
  • Leave the decisions and the consequences of those decisions to the child you are helping
  • Believing that the child wants to and can change their behaviors


  • Using attending skills to show interest
  • Keeping the focus on the person with the problem
  • Communicating to the person that his or her feelings are okay
  • Pointing out strengths and abilities that you see in the person
  • Reinforce what the person is doing to try to work on the problem
  • Keeping confidential information to yourself